February 14 - Of romance and anti-romance

Will anybody have a PBR light? Anybody?

Happy Valentine's day!

I've never been big on couple-y celebration of Valentine's day. It's an excuse for restaurants to double their prices and make you wait for a table. Blah. I'll skip it, thanks.

But I did go out for lunch - to Matt's in the Market. It's a very popular little spot overlooking Pike Place Market. I've been warned many times of how irritating the wait for a table is, so we went in after the lunch rush on a weekday to avoid waiting list-induced rage.

Oyster sandwich: squishable!

Moos went for the fried oyster sandwich. I thought it was a strange concept, but I guess it's a southern thing. Go figure. He said it was tasty, but as far as texture goes, a conceptual fail. Squishy oysters on soft bread just doesn't make for a successful sandwich. I'm not a big oyster fan, so it failed even more to impress me.

We both went with the seafood chowder. A solid salmon-filled soup, but it pales in comparison to Pike Place Chowder's offerings.

Grilled pork sandwich: craveable!

What did impress me was my sandwich - the grilled pork tenderloin sandwich. It did seem sad to go to Matt's and not get something from the sea, but frankly their lunch menu is a little lackluster in terms of seafood. And I'm glad I went with the pork. It was tender and spicy, with melty mild Oaxacan cheese on delightfully toasty bread. It is a masterful sandwich - one to rival Paseo. Well, maybe not rival, but it's a good downtown alternative.

On to the evening's festivities!

Featuring the gayest DJ in the world.

In the spirit of V-D, we went to The Stranger's Valentine's Day Bash. The concept: people bring in mementos of failed relationships and have them destroyed on stage. Catharsis for all people. People like Sean.

Closure: simmer for 4-6 hours and serve.

Sean's ex-girlfriend brought this crock pot to his house one night. He made her dinner in it and then she broke up with him. What better way to bid her adieu than to allow Dan Savage to smash this symbol of her wenchery with a sledgehammer?

Why did we break up?
She was a c***!

Sean told his story on stage, to many a sympathetic ear. And then. . .

To smithereens!

Take that!

While the evening was fun, all the stories of love lost began to wear on us. So after nearly being beheaded by a flying, liquid nitrogen-soaked, stuffed lamb, we made a break for The Viking.

All in the wrist. . .

Where I learned that I suck at shuffleboard. Like every other bar sport. But with a belly full of cheesy gordita crunch and Tom Collins, I gave it my all.

The face of a loser's partner.

And dragged my partner down in a bitter 20-9 defeat. Sorry, Ian. Ah well, there's always next time.

And next year! Maybe I could find something in my lovelorn past that's just begging to be dismembered by a machete-wielding Dan Savage.

Machete Valentine 2: The Reckoning.